6 Best Ways to Express Sympathy

6 Best Ways to Express Sympathy

1. Send a hand written note (NOT AN EMAIL) to whomever in the family is closest to you. This is especially true when you don’t know the decedent.  Relate a positive memory that will endure with you.  Send this as soon as you hear.  Although it is best to send close to the date of loss, even if a long time is past before you have heard, send one then.
2. In the case of a close friend who has lost a family member, make a favorite dish and deliver it personally.  This should only be done in the first couple of days after the death.
3. Send a donation to the suggested charity if the cause is something you support.  Keep in mind that this is in no way a substitute for personal contact. 
4. Attend the viewing and/or funeral, both if you were close to the family. 
5. Send flowers to the service.  Even if a “Please Omit” suggestion was in the death notice, remember that this is a suggestion.  There is no substitute for the physical show of support that flowers give at a service.  Everyone has experienced the cold look of a service where no flowers were present.  Often times, no thought is given to this by the family and funeral directors make the suggestion.  Services are much easier for them when there are no flowers.
6. Send flowers to your friend.  The proper time to do this is after the service.  It is also the time when the gesture will be most meaningful.  Include a message with words like, “We are thinking of you”, “We share your sorrow”, or “Our thoughts and prayers are with you”.  Avoid using phrases that are closely associated with the funeral service such as “Deepest Sympathy.”